After hours, the store looks strange:
the lighting’s wrong, the energy gone,
cleaning and reshelving have no charm,
the sound of floor-buffs is hardly a song;
one can’t buy, and stealing trips the alarm
and changes the scene to a criminal cage.
There is no romance in wrapping up wires
from microphones after the concert is done;
the break-down crew drudges dolleys while tired;
their blood boils not, anticipates none
of the crackling club-bar looks
or all-sing-in-unison hooks;
slink they home, blurry-eyed, and expire.
Their love is like a deathless weed
growing around the stifling concrete
longing to touch the sun, which feeds
them both; but Sol is discreet,
wraps in clouds — which pay no heed
to the arrest their concealment bequeaths
to green things, for the context impedes
all beginnings. Invictus, indeed.
You say, “decease, this all must stop!”
We sit, facing one another across
the silence; hearts ache, so the chatter pops
until I self-censor; you break it, so I toss
a rag in your mouth; we sadden; the loss
of our commerce removes any hop
from our gait, slouching back to our dross.
Sighs in the tepid, damp, dead air
cannot repair
the oaths that they broke
when they spoke
sincerely,
and then frowned nearly
to death in the bitter white-knuckle hush:
neither wishes their strange symmetry to rush
away; as it is immortal, it does not die,
though it dreams as it sleeps, recalling its sky
that’s not touched in the aftermath’s virulent rust
but smoulders e’er beneath its own sputtering dust.
Stanza 3, line 4: “discrete” or “discreet?” They are different.
I think I see where some of this is going.
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Oops! Thank you.
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Still SMH. Such a sophomoric mistake, but at 4/5AM…
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“and then frowned nearly
to death in the bitter white-knuckle hush:” My favorite part.
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My only favorite part was the “strange symmetry” and the “spoke sincerely” part, which were intensely liberating, and the bit about the weeds breaking through concrete; the rest was just pain and ethics. :-/
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You’re favorites are excellent pieces to this poem. I think that even pain has a lot to offer because pain is real. I really enjoy reading your poetry because it is intelligent, and multi-faceted. What I like most about reading you is your depth.
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That’s kind, Kindra. Thank you. A wise woman I know said that one needs to simply feel the pain, though, and let it wash over oneself: I worry that I’m just transmuting it into words, to blow it out like glass, and externalize it into something “out there”…
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But what’s wrong with that? With externalizing? To me, it can be a good thing, leaving things up to individual perception.
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Sometimes it needs to be externalized to be seen; the richness of the moment always risks being stripped-down and decided upon in the wordly figurations it is translated into, however; reality is rarely entirely so final, rarely entirely “just that”. It helps, however, to say it, to name something about it, in order to process it. So, yes: there is that dimension.
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It brings tears. I can feel your pain.
Well done.
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Though I don’t follow the last couple lines of the final stanza.
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Some endings are very unclear, aren’t they? Sometimes, the only clear thing is that the memory will not dim or die, but remain forever nourishing, regardless of the future that appears.
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Aha. Well that does make sense.
Though I’m aware several things in life are in a sort of grayscale of ambiguity, I’ve never been able to function in such a shade. So I tend to take things to black or white in both speech and thought.
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Most of us want to resolve ambiguity, but sometimes there’s no way to dodge it.
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–even when the pain from it is excruciating. Sometimes, you just gotta feel the wash, as sometimes that’s the only way to deal honestly with one’s situation, like it or not. There’s no fast forward button that does anything other than rip up the cassette tape — and one should wish to save room on that cassette tape for whatever track is yet to come.
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